Archive for July, 2012

Father and son

Posted: July 9, 2012 in Life

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My fathers health has not been the best in the past two years. A few weeks ago he was hospitalized for heart failure. He since had a pacemaker put in and nothing seems to be getting better. Now he is back in the hospital When someone close to you falls ill. It makes you reflect on the history you had with that person. My father left when I was five going on six. He remarried and forgotten all about me and my sister. He was never there when I needed him. I remember before that,my dad was my hero. He was a masked wrestler and later on was unmasked. I would go to shows and meet legendary wrestlers. Memories I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. But it all fell apart after he left.
Later we would grow apart. Mainly because I got tried of chasing him for love and attention. No kid should fight for their parents time or love.
I would have been happy just sitting in the same room with him. When he remarried,he allowed that woman to get between his kids and himself. There is a lot more issues we faced with one another. But, life has a way of waking your ass up. He was never gonna change and I had to accept that. Even through all this,I worked hard for his love. Real love,not just words or a gift. I never cared for a gift. All I wanted was his time. I often let his ways scare me about having a child of my own. I never want to be that father. I want to be my child’s rock,support all his/hers dreams and desires Sometimes anger fills my mind. As I jump through hoops to make sure he is ok and doing well. Then I have times where I wonder why? If he wasn’t there for me, why do I work to be there for him? The answer, two wrongs, don’t make a right! I love my father dearly. Why? Because he is a good man and we are all human. We all fall, sometimes more than once. Not sure if any of this makes a bit of sense. I just know I don’t wanna lose him just yet. I would love for him to see me dance at my wedding or have my first child.(now, I just gotta find a girlfriend) lol just trying to lighten the mood.
As I write this I see my father walking to the ring and the people cheering him on. The lights bouncing off his silver mask. None of us are perfect and that’s what we all have to realize. Despite it all,he is my father and negative emotions will only eat at me. I will go to see him at the hospital and can only hope for good news.

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Self Surrogation

Is a title I came up with a long time ago.

As a Latin male, I know and love my heritage.

As a child,teen and sometimes even as an adult. I always get the “You think you are white!” statement.

The reason for the is because, I listen mostly listen too rock music,play in a rock band and refuse to yield to stereo types.

My hair is long and I can converse (no,It’s not conversant) I dress my own way and like being an individual.

Style of clothing or musical taste should not dictate my love for my heritage.

I have friends of all shades and I think there is a lot to learn from everyone (if you are open minded enough.)

People like to sit there and talk about being proud of their race.

These same people,get on me for not being Puerto Rican enough.

I can bet the house,most do not even know their true history or even find their homeland on a map.

(Case and point, I over heard two young brothers were talking about driving to Puerto Rico.) This may seem funny too some,but it saddens me.  Here you are with the Puerto Rican gear, head too toe and don’t even realize that Puerto Rico is an ISLAND!!!!!!

Another gem:

My old co-worker was yelling at a young lady walking down the street. I told him, “if you like her, walk up and talk to her. No need to yell and be rowdy.”

His reply, “I’m Puerto Rican,it’s all I know how to be.” I had a very long talk with him about that simple statement and how I too am Puerto Rican. You don’t see me yelling and acting like a fool.  All he could say is “Yeah,but you’re not a real Puerto Rican.”

He doesn’t realize acting like a loud mouth thug has nothing to do with being Puerto Rican.

Number one:that comes from birth.

Number two:it comes from knowledge.

Again,funny too some. (Just not to me.)

Being proud does not simply come from a t-shirt, hat,a tattoo or acting out.

It comes from the heart,it comes from knowing your back ground.

So…..how did I come up with the title Self-Surrogation?

simply from watching life.

We as minorities fought so hard to be accepted.

To get away from what people thought of minorities.

Only to label ourselves and adhere to the stereo types.

When we say Latin this or Black that. It alienates other people. Not just whites,but other races as well.

Bruce Lee once said, “Teach others,by showing the beauty of your culture.” (What that means to me is staying away from negative label or expectations)  We should work to enlighten the world.

That was a well thought out statement,as he did not have it easy.

Like many others Bruce Lee was considered an outcast for trying to teach Americans (white,non-whites) the arts.

Jimi Hendrix was getting a lot of heat from the Black Panther party about not writing music about the cause. Jimi’s reply, “I don’t see color.”

I know many people of non afro-American (or hispanic) backgrounds that watch movies that consist of mostly a non-white cast. (and enjoy them)

Once you label something, you turn others away. Mainly,because they will feel as they have nothing they can relate too.

It works both ways.

Life is no longer a black,white or the other issue.

We are all human.

Labels and stereo types are something we should stop worrying about, just enjoy being human.

Perception is everything!!

How you behave, is how you are perceived.  So too my young brothers and sisters of all races, stand proud and stand strong.

Learn about who you are and where you come from. So the next time to beat that drum, back it with knowledge.

Strength Can be a good thing,but it can also hold you back. Some have built up such a wall of strength,that they allow little or no room for people around them to error. As the old saying goes “to error is human.To forgive is divine” I have from time to become jaded or guarded and confused that with being strong. It may or may not have effect relationships of the past. (though I am sure it did with a few.) I learned a valuable lesson (as that is what life gives us). Not to be so strong willed,not to hold on to the past life and what has happened. That will only confuse and hurt you and those around you. Often, being self-preserved is confused with being selfish. Your happiness begins and ends with you. Strength: A good thing as long as it’s not misguided.

Men

Posted: July 3, 2012 in Life, Uncategorized

It’s a big misconception that men never think about the same subjects as some women. I always read or hear about “the rules of keeping your man” or somethings said like “don’t let a man hold you down or don’t let him treat this way or that way.”
Bottom line is, people are messed up. Not only men, but women as well! 

To sit and blame one sex for all that ales the world is not sensible and only comes off as bitter/unattractive. 

Here are some of the things the secret society of men won’t tell women. I will also add notes as to how women should benefit from the give and take.

Complements
Yes, we like them. Just as much as you do. In fact maybe more so, mainly because men never really receive them.
So say something nice to your man. Just because. Make him a card or simple buy him a rose. Everyone’s likes to feel desired.  
Side note:
-Guys don’t wait to mess up to buy flowers,a card or a gift.
Do it just because she loves you. Complement your lady with out her having to point it out. Pay attention to her. Steal a kiss, hug her and make her smile.  Believe me a real women would love every second of it.

Date night 

Make a night where you put away your cell phones and make the night about you two. Do it classy, buy flowers, make her a card. Really think out what to say and write for her. Make her dinner (if you can’t cook, you can take her to her favorite place) light some candles and talk to one another. Communication is key. 

Ladies: Make a date to do the things your man will enjoy. Maybe take him to see his favorite team or band. Watch him enjoy this moment and later talk to him about it during dinner 

Children
I know, I know, we don’t have a time clock like you women. But, hell guys who want children, also don’t wanna be to old to enjoy their time with the child. Imagine breaking a hip while playing with your child. That would suck. Fatherhood, for those who want it. Want to have time to enjoy and teach the child things.

Sex
This goes back to feeling desired. Wear something sexy, soft kisses and initiate  it. Ladies take care of your man and he will take care of you. Spontaneity is the spice of life.
Side note:
Now men, make your woman feel amazing. Skip “the game” that’s what dvr is for. The better you take care of her, the better she’ll take care of you. Take your time with passionatly kissing her and exploring her body let her, make her feel like a Queen.

The point is men are like to feel admired and desired as well. So play nice in the sand box and you both will enjoy the out come.